Akatsuki Camping Trip
by AkiraDawn
Summary: Yes, Akatsuki is off on a three day camping trip. Filled with, campfires, tents, bugs, and....well, just see for yourself. Rated for language. R&R! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 The Camping Trip

Alatsuki Camping Trip

Hey Everybody! Well, here it is and thank you Katie for the idea! I hope you all like this story. This is my shout out to all you loyal readers out there of the Akatsuki and their adventures….thank you XD! You're too great. Without further ado…Akatsuki Camping Trip Much Love AkiraDawn

Some Background…

Every summer, in the month of August, the Akatsukis go on a 3 day camping trip in a local state park. 'The Leader' always encourages the camping trip because he feels that nature helps Itachi's rage issues by about 3 and Kisame really enjoys all the fish. This year was no different (except for the fact that there were 2 new members), it was Friday and the 7 of them were preparing to leave…

"Hey Itachi, yeah?" Poke, poke. "Hey, Itachi, yeah." Poke, poke. "Hey Itachi, yeah." Poke, poke "Hey Ita…"

"What the HELL do you want!" Itachi screamed at Deidara.

"Do you think we'll need an iron and an ironing board, yeah?" Deidara asked holing up the steam iron.

"Oh course we'll need an iron and an ironing board!" Itachi told him. They always packed a giant extension cord (4 actually) to plug the iron into the 25 amp electric box at the campground.

"Sasori, you packed the charcoal, the cooler, the giant ass bug light and the camp stove right?" Kisame asked.

"Got it!" Sasori answered.

"Hidan, really, do you need all the religious items for this trip?" Kakuzu asked disgruntled as he loaded the tents and the camp site lighting.

"Kakuzu! Do you just think religion isn't important, seriously? You are always trying to tell me to leave my Jasshin behind, really! I need all these things! You leave me and my Jasshin alone, seriously!' Hidan barked at Kakuzu and loaded all his Jasshin religious based items.

Zetsu was in charge of all the pillows, blankets, the air mattresses. He had them piled high in his arms and clumsily threw them in a giant pile into the (now infamous) AKTSUKI van (remember, Chrysler Town & Country, 2005, light blue in color: first Debuted in Akatsuki Beach Trip).

"Okay, I just got off the phone; Dana will be out Saturday, yeah." Deidra said. Itachi dropped the massive pile of clothes that he had in his arms.

"What did you just say?" Itachi demanded.

"I said Okay, I just got off the phone; Da…"

"I know! I know, what you said…you mean to tell me….that Dana….DANA….is coming on our camping trip?" Itachi was squealing a little bit and his eyes were blinking really fast. Deidara glared at Itachi.

"Don't…you…go there…with…me…yeah. Besides, Itachi she's only coming out for the day, yeah and you know you can't have her." If there was anything Deidara would fight Itachi for…it was his beloved sister.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. But she's coming…to our campsite…on Saturday?" Deidara sighed…Itachi wasn't giving in.

"Yes…she is, yeah…now pick up those clothes." Deidara ordered him.

"Deidara, we're going to be gone for three days…why do you and Itachi need 12 shirts?" Kisame asked.

"Well, you never know, what if…a park ranger comes to our campsite, yeah?" Kisame looked at Deidara puzzled.

"So, what if one does?"

"Then, we'd know to change from jeans to khaki pants quickly, because park rangers don't wear jeans, yeah." Kisame was baffled.

"That makes…no fucking sense!" Kisame shook his head and loaded up their firewood. The van was absolutely packed and now it was decision time…who was going to drive the 40 minutes to get to the campground…

"Oh my god! Let me drive, yeah! You never let me drive, yeah!" Deidara begged.

"There's a reason we never let him drive." Zetsu whispered to Hidan.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease…I wanna drive, yeah." And Deidara used his secret weapon….pleading, desperate, 'can't say no to that' blue eyes (well, eye)

"FINE! But I am not co-pilot with you! Make Sasori do it, he…knows how to put up with you." Zetsu said.

"Yay!" Deidara was delighted. He hurried to the driver's seat with Sasori close by. Somehow…everyone managed to pile in the crammed van spite the fact that it was practically overflowing with camp stuff.

"Okay, reverse, yeah!" And Deidara floored it backing out of the apartment complexes parking lot…he gave everyone whip lash as he slammed on the brakes (that poor van).

"And….drive, yeah!" And Deidara floored it out of the parking lot…yes…more whip lash…the camping trip had officially begun.


	2. Chapter 2 Arrival

I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters

"DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sasori screamed, and there were 7 other terrified girly screams in the van. "OH MY GOD! SLOW DOWN! AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Sasori yelled, just then Deidara turned a corner causing crap in the van to fly everywhere and Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan and Kakuzu were all piled up on one another. However, Deidara turned yet another curve going 25 miles over the speed limit.

"And this is my prayer that I pray, if I get out of this van alive I will not yell at Kakuzu for 20 minutes, seriously." Hidan had been praying since they left the apartment complex parking lot.

"I have never been this carsick. God! Deidara THIS IS WHY WE NEVER LET YOU DRIVE!" Itachi screamed.

"You know, you all act like I've never driven before, yeah." Deidara said calmly.

"YOU DRIVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DRIVEN BEFORE!" Kisame yelled. Deidara had slammed everyone all over the van turning curves when finally he slammed on the brakes, the tires squealed like crazy. He calmly brushed the long hair over his eye with his fingers while everyone else in the van panted with fear and had their eyes aide as plates.

"Sorry, there's a red light, yeah." Deidara said. Secretly everyone wised the red light would never change and that Sasori would take over the wheel. But unfortunately the light turned green and Deidara floored it through the light.

"Deidara! You have got to slow down of you're going to miss the entrance to the camp ground….oh shit there it was!" Sasori yelled watching the 'Welcome to the State Park' visitor sign fly away behind them, he noticed the speed limit: 25 mph. Deidara was going 59.

"Don't you worry Danna, yeah." And with that said Deidara made a U turn on a two lane road, flipping Zetsu into the cargo storage in the back and Kakuzu into Kisame's lap. Itachi had ended up in the front console and Hidan was praying for his life…still. Deidara slammed on the brakes again and used the turn signal before turning into the campground entrance. Deidara calmly cruised at 15 mph up to the campground registration window. He rolled down the window.

"Hi, we're here for our camping weekend. We're going to need a camper pass, yeah." And then came the million dollar smile.

"Alright, what's the reservation name under." The campground volunteer asked. Deidara thought a moment.

"Well, it's either under Akatsuki, 'The Leader', Uchiha, Sasori Danna, Hoshigaki Kisame, Zetsu, Hidan and Kakuzu, Deidara, yeah, 'TheLeader's Wife', of I guess it could also be listed under our phone number or the leader's phone number so I'll give them both to…

"Hold on." The volunteer cut Deidara off, he had a feeling this could go on for days. The volunteer soon returned with a stack of papers (campground rules, information etc.), a camper pass for the van. "You're campsite is number 41 loop B, there's a minimum of 2 vehicles per campsite, enjoy your stay with us. If you need anything out camp store is open until 9:30 pm and opens each morning at 8:00."

"Oh. Wait, hold on, um…what time do we need to check out on Sunday, yeah?"

"12:00 noon." He answered.

"Thanks, yeah." Deidara answered and then drove a comfortable 10 mph through the campground. Everyone was still a little stunned from the drive to the campground. "Oh there it is there's our site, yeah!" Deidara said quickly swerving the van over onto the concrete pad. The airbag quickly exploded from the steering console which left Deidara in a screaming panic because he thought that Sasori had pressed the 'hot air balloon activation' button. After that moment had passed, it was time to file out of the van.

"What a nice place! We are surrounded by trees in the back and on both sides!" Kisame noticed. Everyone took a moment to take in the surroundings, it a moment of pristine and peaceful silence….a short lived moment.

"Shit! What the? What the hell kind of campground is this? I don't have any fucking cell phone service!" Sasori yelled. And so Sasori started walking around holding the now infamous Pink RAZR in the air looking for cell phone service.

"Okay, Deidara you were stupid and didn't pay for our campsite when we checked in so me and Kisame are going to go back and pay." Zetsu said. "Hidan, you and Kakuzu go to the camp store and buy any kind of medicine they have for nausea and motion sickness. Itachi, you and Deidara start unpacking and getting the tents pitched." Zetsu delivered the duties as Sasori was wandering around looking for cell phone service. Perhaps Zetsu should have reconsidered who he gave the duties to.

"Itachi, isn't this great, being in the wild, the outdoors, the wilderness, yeah?" Deidara was delighted.

"Deidara, those people us have cable in their camper and Sasori is walking around with his damn cell phone." Itachi had broken his spirit…again.

"Itachi, you have no imagination, yeah." Deidara insisted.

"Here, shut up and help me unload our clothes." Itachi said opening up the van. Kisame would fix the air bag later on. Itachi and Deidara had brought a portable plastic closet with far too many clothes for three days, they pulled it out and set it upright. Deidara hung their clothes up while Itachi began pulling crap out of the van and throwing it on the ground. Sasori had managed to wander into a clump of trees searching for cell service.

"Hey, do you think it was a good idea that we left Itachi and Deidara to get the camp set up?" Kisame asked.

"Oh, probably not, but they couldn't handle the other tasks either." Zetsu said.

"True, I can picture Itachi trying to write a check now, last time he wrote a check…he nearly got kicked out of Walgreens." Kisame and Zetsu approached the campground office.

"Alright, Kakuzu, nausea medicine, that's what we're here for, really."

"Hey, Hidan they have those little sausages in the can in that aisle over there." Kakuzu said.

"Shut up! We're on the verge of throwing up from the carried from hell and so we have to get medicine now." Hidan hissed through gritted teeth. It was hard to tell what they would eventually come out of that store with….

Let the camping begin…


	3. Chapter 3 Setting Up Camp

"Harder Itachi, push harder, yeah!" Deidara said.

"This isn't the right hole! Can't you see that it's just too tight?" Itachi yelled at him.

"Yes it is, Itachi! Just do it harder, yeah!" Deidara yelled back.

"Oh my god! Wait, wait….we need the instructions." It was at that moment that Itachi let go of the tent rod which sprung in the opposite direction causing a screaming Deidara to become wrapped in a canvas, tent poles, and rope.

"Itachi! Itachi! I'm stuck! I'm stuck in the tent, yeah!" Deidara yelled as Itachi calmly looked at the instructions. Itachi completely disregarded the thrashing blonde before him and was trying to decipher the instructions.

"God! Look! It says right here, insert pole A into unit B then connect with pole C… and quit thrashing!" Itachi yelled at him.

"But, I'm stuck! Oh god…get me out of here, yeah!"

"Deidara, you are so not stuck in that tent, now get the pole!" Itachi yelled.

Kisame and Zetsu paid for the camp site and were now returning to their site. It actually went smoothly, except for that lady in the registration office who kept poking Zetsu.

"Oh, I'm sorry I had no idea I wandered into another campsite, I'm looking for cell phone service." Sasori apologized to another group of campers and went the other direction.

"Hidan! Hidan check it out! They have shower caps in this store!" Kakuzu was excited.

"Kakuzu…WE'RE NOT HERE FOR SHOWER CAPS!" Hidan was pissed so he quickly paid for the 5 bottles of nausea medicine and pulled Kakuzu out of the camp store.

Somehow, in that 23 minute period, Deidara and Itachi had managed to put one of the tents up, there were now 4 more to go, plus the giant screen tent they had drug along with them. Kisame and Zetsu returned to help finish unloading the van, and help with the tents. It was obvious that Itachi and Deidara were struggling in the tent construction. It was hard to tell where Sasori had gone off to because he was nowhere to be seen and he was still looking for cell phone service.

"Hey check it out! I brought the kayak!" Kisame said yanking the kayak out of the van. Hidan and Kakuzu were coming down the campground road surprisingly peaceful. They handed over the nausea medicine to Zetsu who took it immediately. Hidan immediately grabbed the giant mesh tent and began trying to piece the poles together under the screen, he was getting just about as tangled up as Deidara was. Kakuzu had spotted the wretched owl camper lights and he immediately strung them from one tree to another and ran the giant orange extension cord into the electric box and plugged them into the 8 plug adapter that Itachi had plugged in earlier…they were now glowing little birds of wisdom. Sasori returned disgruntled that he hadn't yet found cell phone service. So, he took his frustration out on the cooler…pulling it out of the van and thrashing it around until he decided where he wanted to place it.

Forty minutes later, the tents were up, the camp chairs arranged, the owl lights glowing, Itachi and Deidara's clothes…hung, the cooler and food safely put aside, the camp stove propped under a tree, a clothes line hung…all was well…well almost.

"Okay, where are our towels, soap, shampoo and hair dryer? I must take a shower!" Itachi demanded. It was the one thing that Kisame hadn't yet unpacked. Itachi dug through the van until he found his shower survival items. "Deidara are you coming to shower with me?" the moment Itachi said it….he knew he messed up. A huge smile broke across Deidara's face. "Oh god…no, NO! Don't you even go there with me! You know I didn't mean it like THAT! God! Don't you even start with me! Do you want your fucking blonde shampoo or not?" Itachi was getting irate, however it would have been much worse had he not taken his rage pill or been in among nature. However, what really set him off was when Deidara looked over his shoulder and eyes Itachi with one pouty blue eye and then…he winked. "That's it! THAT IS IT! You get your own fucking crap for the shower! I hate you! You are the biggest dumbass there ever was! Don't ever EVER, wink at me AGAIN! If you were Dana you could wink at me all you want…..BUT YOU'RE NOT! Go to hell Deidara!"

"You know I think he gets angrier than Hidan does at Kakuzu." Sasori said to Zetsu.

"Couldn't agree more." He said. And so Itachi stormed off with endless bath supplies while Deidara gathered his. Kisame and Kakuzu were attempting to build a campfire for the night….keyword….attempting.


	4. Chapter 4 Marshmallows

Hey everybody! I am going to try really hard to update tomorrow, however if I don't update it's because I have to go out of town until Sunday, so you'll have to wait until I get back for updates if I can't squeeze one more in. Enjoy!

"So do you think Itachi is wearing that towel so low on his hips to show off his tan line on purpose?" Zetsu asked.

"Of course I do. He's been working on that tan. He wants everyone to see that tan…well every female anyway." Kisame said. Itachi returned to the campsite, much to his dismay he didn't turn any heads on his way back. He went to the closet he and Deidara had drug along and sorted through it. Kisame had given up on building a fire and now Kakuzu and Sasori were attempting to build the fire.

"Kakuzu, do you really think it's a good idea to take gasoline from other cars and pour it on our wood just to try to get the fire to start faster?" Sasori asked.

"Well, I just didn't think the kerosene was enough." Kakuzu answered. Sasori reached for the matches and he lit one.

"Here it goes." Sasori said holding the match. He threw the math into the logs and a giant fireball erupted from the fire bin. It singed the leaves on the trees overhead…but at least the fire was started, even though now the flames were shooing three feet into the air. Itachi had now changed and emerged from the tent.

"That's one huge ass fire." He said to Sasori and Kakuzu. It was at that moment that Deidara had returned from the bath house.

"Who made the fire, yeah, it's huge!" Deidara said.

"That would be Zetsu and Sasori." Kisame said who had decided it was time for marshmallows.

"Hey Itachi, did we pack those loose fitting pants, the ones that are cottony soft to the touch, yeah?" Itachi spun around in his chair.

"Yeah, they're hanging….what the hell? How did you get a better tan than me? Why can't I see your tan line?" Itachi demanded.

"Itachi I don't have a better tan than you, yeah. It's the exact depth of tan….my line is just a little bit lower than yours, yeah." Deidara said finding the cottony soft black pants. Itachi didn't like this answer.

"How? How did this happen? You know what…never mind…I took my rage pill and nature makes me feel wonderful…you should wear the black Dole and Gabbana shirt with those pants.

"Itachi, how many marshmallows do you want?" Kisame asked shoving marshmallows onto a stick.

"Oh my god…black so brings out my blonde, yeah. Don't you think so Kisame, yeah?" Deidara was thrilled.

"Yes, now how many marshmallows do you and Itachi want?"

"I want one….one marshmallow and don't burn it!" Itachi demanded.

"Oh my god! Kisame, I want….um….5…five, yeah!" Deidara loved marshmallows. Actually he just liked the way they got gooey on the inside. When Kisame torched them in the fire. So, Kisame had a total of 17 marshmallows on a stick and he had shoved it in the fire. It was now dark and all was serene in the campground except for Kisame bitching about the heat of the fire.

"Kisame I said I don't want mine on fire!" Itachi told him watching some of the marshmallows catch fire.

"Well then come pull it off." Kisame said.

"Um...hello…no! you do it!" Itachi said. So, Kisame pulled the stick out of the fire and carefully tried to remove the perfectly toasted marshmallow from the end of the stick. However, he didn't realize it and he was pulling the stick backwards, once Itachi's marshmallow he burned his finger on the marshmallow underneath it…then he let go of the stick, it flipped in the opposite direction and flaming marshmallows went hurling towards the tent…naturally Sasori, Deidara and Itachi dodged to avoid the flaming sugar snacks.

"You know…maybe we should just get the Pocky out of the van?"

"Yeah, let's go with that."

"Yeah, Pocky."

"Pocky, let's do that, seriously."

"Smart."

"Oh is it Strawberry Pocky?" The others said all together at random times. Well, except Deidara.

"Can I just eat the marshmallows out of the bag, yeah?" And so Kisame handed Deidara the bag of marshmallows while he went to the van to get the 15 flavors of Pocky that Itachi had packed.


	5. Chapter 5 Kayaks and Dana's Arrival

The next morning Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara and Itachi were sitting around the campsite while Sasori scrambled eggs in the camp stove (Sasori was actually quite the cook). Hidan had picked some wildflowers that he wasn't supposed to pick for a centerpiece on the picnic table and Kakuzu was getting the plates, toaster, orange juice and other fun breakfast items out of the van.

"What's the capital of Spain, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Madrid." Zetsu answered him. Deidara wrote that down.

"Okay, well what's a 6 letter word for 'root vegetable', yeah." Deidara continued.

"Carrot." Zetsu told him. Deidara wrote that down.

"Oh, what's…" Zetsu cut him off.

"Deidara, why is it you always insist on doing the crossword puzzle when you don't know any of the answers?" Zetsu wanted to know.

"Hey! I got the answer to 5 across, yeah!"

"Deidara, the clue was 'way of kissing involving the tongue' of course you would get that one!" Kisame said.

"So, what time is Dana going to be here today?" Itachi asked. Deidara glared at him. "What? I didn't say anything about sleeping with her! I just want to know what time she's going to arrive…you know so I can change clothes into something clingier."

"She'll be here by 11:30, yeah and you stay away from her. Besides, Itachi she is so not going to sleep with you, yeah." Deidara said trying to figure out the next clue to the crossword puzzle.

"Hey, Hidan and Kakuzu have never met her." Sasori said flipping the eggs around.

"Oh! You two will love my Dana, yeah. She's smart and she's beautiful….and she's my favorite sister, yeah!" Deidara was enthused.

"She's your only sister." Itachi said, breaking down his overzealous friend.

"So, she's still my favorite, yeah."

"Okay,get over here, the eggs are done and Kakuzu has the toast coming out of the toaster." Sasori said. Hidan said a pre-breakfast prayer. Breakfast was so far surprisingly un-chaotic. The eggs were cooked to perfection, well Itachi and Deidara insisted on only egg whites so Sasori had to cook those separately. Kakuzu's toast was perfectly brown and the orange juice quite cold. Even clean-up was a breeze….with all that orderliness something was bound to go wrong sooner or later.

"Okay, Sasori that was a great breakfast, you want to be the first to come out in the kayak with me?" Kisame asked.

"Hell yeah I would! I can take the cell phone and see if I get service!" Sasori quickly changed into swim trunks, grabbed the pink RAZR and was ready for the kayak.

"You know Sasori, you're much more desirable in human form and dressed like that." Itachi said…that was strange it was…well nice of him. Must have been the open air combined with the rage pills. Sasori and Kisame picked up the kayak and headed toward the lake.

They approached the shore of the lake and slipped the kayak into the water jumping in before it got too far way from the bank. Kisame was in charge of the oar.

"Ah! This is terrific isn't it, Sasori?" Kisame asked delighted to be on the lake.

"It sure is!" Sasori answered making himself comfortable in the kayak.

"You know Sasori, we don't hang out enough, we have got to hang out more!" Kisame said.

"You're right, I mean that's the whole reason we made Itachi and Deidara roommates, so I could escape Deidara's well…his interesting personality and you could escape Itachi's constant drama." Sasori said.

"You know, we need a thing. Hidan and Kakuzu have the knitting, which though strange, the scarves and coordinating mittens will come in handy this winter. Itachi and Deidara well, they get laid and they look good and Zetsu took my fichus so he has that." Kisame said.

"Kisame, we should make the kayak our thing." Sasori said.

"Yeah! Okay, Sasori from now on that's our thing….the kayak!" Kisame declared. Neither one of them were paying attention to where the kayak was going because Kisame continuously was turning around talking to Sasori. However, when Kisame turned around it was too late…they were getting ready to collide with a bunch of people in kayakers in a race. "Oh…shit….Sasori…um….you may want to hold on tight." Kisame said watching the horde of racers plow toward them.

"So how do you two get your teeth so white, really?" hidan asked Itachi and Deidara.

"We'll have to show you when we get back home." Itachi told him. Just then a car was coming down the campground road, actually it was a taxi.

"She's here! She's here, she's here she's here, yeah." Deidara said quickly getting out of his chair and throwing the magazine he was reading on Itachi.

"Boys…she has arrived." Itachi said to Hidan and Kakuzu. Dana paid the taxi driver and got out, he pulled off…and there she was.

Okay, this is the last chapter I can post before I leave for the weekend. Expect updates on either Sunday night or Monday of next week. The next chapter is going to be quite fun if I do say so myself!


	6. Chapter 6 It's Not Chicken!

Hey everyone! I'm back! Here's the next chapter, hope you like it!

"DEIDARA!"

"DANA!" And they both started screaming. Dana flung her arms around him and Deidara pulled her off the ground with excitement.

"Oh my god! Deidara, you have like so gotten a tan, yeah." She said.

"Dana! You have too, yeah." He answered her (Deidara and Itachi had yet to put a shirt on that morning, and Itachi had quickly slipped away to get something clingy that he had mentioned earlier). "Dana! You have got to meet our two new members, Hidan and Kakuzu, yeah." Deidara grabbed her hand.

"Oh my god! So you two are like the new guys, yeah? I'm Dana! I'm Deidara's older sister, yeah." Hidan and Kakuzu looked at her, then at each other, then back at her, then at each other again.

"Um…Hi….really. I'm Hidan." He awkwardly introduced himself.

"I'm Kakuzu, I travel around with him." Kakuzu said.

"Well, it's like really nice to meet you two, yeah." Dana answered enthusiastically. Itachi had finally gotten dressed.

"Dana, look at you would you? You're like a sun kissed goddess, who hasn't been kissed." Itachi said to her. Dana laughed and Deidara glared at him.

"Oh my god, Itachi, you are like so desperate to get in my pants, yeah. I mean like every time I see you you're all 'oh god Dana you're so fucking hot' yeah. Oh god….Itachi, you kill me, you really do, yeah." Dana was still laughing. "Anyway, where can I put this on, yeah?" Dana pulled her barely there bikini out of her bag. This is the part where Itachi swallowed hard and clawed his fingers into fists.

"In my tent by yourself with me standing in front of it, yeah." Deidara said quickly. And so Dana was thrilled with this decision and crawled inside the tent to change.

"You want me to suffer, don't you, Deidara." Itachi asked.

"Itachi, I'm thinking she's not going to sleep with you, seriously." Even Hidan recognized this.

"Have you ever seen so much blonde in one place?" Kakuzu asked Hidan. Hidan just got pissed and slapped him in the face.

"Oh shit! Kisame! Aaaaaaagggggghhh!" Sasori yelled as the kayak got tossed around by the other racing kayaks.

"Sasori! Hold on! I think we're screwed!" Kisame was flipping the paddle everywhere as angry racers continually pounded into them. This was bad news, they had to either get to the shore or dodge the kayaks. And at this point they were unsuccessful in both.

Back at camp, Hidan and Kakazu were doing a lot of staring and blinking (It could have been because Deidara and Dana were unmistakable brother and sister).

"No, Deidara, listen to this, yeah. So, the other day I'm like all getting ready to make lunch and I want to make chicken salad sandwiches for my roommates…did you know that Chicken of the Sea is fish, not chicken, yeah? It's actually tuna, yeah?" Dana shook her head.

"Dana, don't feel bad I had to ask Sasori about that, it confused me too, yeah. I mean come on; the can says chicken and sea so how do we know it's not chickens that have been raised near a beach, yeah?"

"Oh my god! That was so my logic too, yeah. Hey, where is Sasori anyway, yeah?" Dana asked.

"He and Kisame took the kayak down to the lake; it must be so relaxing, yeah." Deidara said.

"Oh god! Oh god! Sasori! Hold on, we're almost through the race!" Kisame yelled thrashing the paddle everywhere. Finally the last string of kayaks threw Kisame and Sasori out of their kayak. They floundered around for a while Kisame swam for the paddle. The kayak was upside down in the water. They both swam towards the kayak and clung to it with wide eyes.

"Its okay, it's okay…" Sasori panted. "The kayak….still our thing!" He said to Kisame. Kisame smiled and they both shook their heads yes.

"Hell, yeah it's our thing….hey! It's extreme kayaking!" And with that they flipped the kayak over once more.

"So, are they real, seriously?" Hidan asked. Dana laughed.

"Of course, they're real, yeah! I wouldn't fake these, yeah."

"Could I touch them, really?" Hidan asked tentatively.

"Sure, yeah!"

"Wow! Nice, seriously. My cousin is looking for a pair of Manolo Blahniks. If she saw these on your feet and felt this leather…she would freak, seriously."

"Dana knows her Manolos, yeah." Deidara said.

"Dana and her Manolos..." Itachi said to himself in a slightly infatuated manner. Kakuzu looked confused.

"Hey, can I ask you two a question?" Kakuzu asked.

"Of course, yeah." Deidara said.

"Why doesn't she have the hand…mouth…things?"

"Oh, we like only wonder that all the time, yeah. Deidara so got the mouths but I didn't. We think it must be a male thing, kind of like a vagina is a female thing because our dad had the hand mouths but our mom like so didn't, yeah."

"That's a fair enough explanation." Kakuzu said. It was then that Kisame and Sasori reappeared, soaking wet, kayak in hand. It was obvious they would have some explaining to do.


	7. Chapter 7 Horseshoes

"Oh my god! Like what happened to you two, yeah?" Dana asked Kisame and Sasori.

"Hey Dana, we had some issues with the kayak…racers…racers everywhere!" Sasori said.

"Yeah, we may be bruised tomorrow." Kisame told her.

"So, has Zetsu eaten anyone on this trip, yeah?" Dana asked Deidara.

"Not, yet. We got kicked out of that other campground because he tried to eat someone, yeah." Deidara answered her.

"So…Dana. How about you and I go down to the lake for a swim?" Itachi asked Dana with eyes all over her. Dana laughed.

"Oh my god, oh god. I have to say you are being a lot less dramatic but that's like so not going to work, Itachi, yeah." Dana said.

"I'm not trying to sleep with you! I want you to come swim with me!" Itachi yelled.

"Itachi, we both know that swimming leads to me topless in the water, which leads to you saying something like 'you want to go back to camp so we can have some fun' which leads to you wanting to sleep with me, yeah." Dana insisted. Itachi was angry that she had figured him out; he just knew that plan would work.

"Dana….you truly don't know what you're missing out on." Itachi told her. She laughed again.

"Oh, I like so do. Itachi it's no secret that when it comes who's better in bed Dei…"

"You know maybe we shouldn't finish that thought, yeah." Deidara quickly cut Dana off. Itachi sat across from Dana and pouted. He was pissed that Deidara was in his way of getting Dana (of course it wasn't registering with him that Dana had no interest in sleeping with him).

"Hey you know what, yeah? Those 7 girls camping across from you seem like really dysfunctional, yeah. The red head keeps holding her cell phone up looking for service, the girl with the blue hair is stuck in a giant inner tube, that light green girl is playing with plants, and the black haired girl is screaming at the blonde for using her curlers, yeah. Oh geez, and that white haired girl and that other girl are strangling each other, yeah. It's a good thing you guys aren't dysfunctional like that, yeah." Dana said.

"It sure is, we always get along, yeah." Deidara told her. Deidara didn't notice Itachi throwing a rock at him and missing.

"Hey you know what a great idea would be, seriously?" Hidan said out of no where. He didn't let anyone answer. "We should go play horseshoes, really!" Everyone thought this was a terrific idea and so the eight of them headed for the horseshoe ring towards the front of the campground. This could get interesting…

There wasn't anyone playing horseshoes at the time and the horseshoes were lying in a pile.

"Okay, we should split up into teams of four, really."

"Dana! You be on my team, yeah." Deidara insisted quickly.

"Then I'm on your team." Itachi said trying to put his arm around Dana only to be slapped by Deidara.

"Okay, I'll be your 4th, seriously!" Hidan said. So, Kisame, Sasori, Zetsu and Kakuzu were on the other team. They separated into their appropriate horseshoe colors. Team Deidara was blue and Team Zetsu was Red.

"Who's throwing first for your team?"

"Dana! You throw first Dana, yeah!" Deidara said enthusiastically.

"Oh my god okay, here we go, yeah." Dana said getting ready to throw her horseshoe at the opposite stake.

"Really put your ass into it, Dana." Itachi told her. Deidara glared at him. Dana threw the horseshoe, however her aim was a little off and it went hurling into the woods behind them.

"Oops, yeah. I guess I'm not a good thrower, yeah." She answered, disappointed that her throw was anywhere but near the horseshoe stake.

"I'm next!" Sasori said. He took the red horseshoe.

"Come on Sasori! You can do this, we can beat their asses!" Zetsu encouraged him. Sasori shook his head yes and practiced his deep breathing exercises. He tossed the red horseshoe towards team Deidara. Akatsuki must not have the best throwing skills because Sasori hit a tree instead. He was pissed.

"Damn it! I'm sorry guys."

"Good effort, good effort." Kisame said.

"Deidara you go next, yeah!" Dana insisted. Deidara was more of the artsy type…not so much into sports. He threw the blue horseshoe however it landed in the parking lot of the campground that was beside the horseshoe ring area. He also managed to set off a car alarm. "Well, that…wasn't good, yeah." And now it was back to team Zetsu and it was Zetsu's turn. Zetsu thought he had a good thing going with his wind-up throw, however it went soaring past team Deidara…they didn't even have to duck. Hidan was next for Team Deidara. He decided to pray before throwing. However, he prayed and he prayed and he prayed so long that a dog ran off with the horseshoe….so much for that.

"Alright, Kakuzu it's up to you!" Zetsu said. Kakuzu played baseball as a kid so he prided himself on his throwing abilities, however, this wasn't baseball. Kakuzu threw the horseshoe and it landed surprisingly close to team Deidara's red stake. Itachi was the last to throw for team Deidara. He got ready to throw.

"Hey, watch me freak Itachi out, yeah." Deidara whispered to Dana. He walked up behind Itachi slowly and before he got ready to throw…he licked Itachi's neck with one of the mouths in his hands.

"OH MY GOD! I….GOD…I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT! OH MY GOD! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING FREAKS ME OUT! OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD! NOW I HAVE DISEASES!" Itachi was completely freaking out and thrashing around manically.

"Itachi! First off, I don't have diseases, secondly you like that when a girl does it, yeah." Deidara was laughing so much he couldn't stand it and Dana was laughing so hard that she was falling into her brother.

"OH MY GOD! THAT IS SO DIFFERENT WHEN A GIRL DOES IT! I HATE YOU!" If Deidara had a dollar every time Itachi said 'I hate you' he would already have enough money to buy a new Gucci watch. In all the chaos and commotion, the horseshoe went flying into the air and no one had any idea if it had landed somewhere or if it were still among the clouds.

Kisame was the last to throw; he ended up knocking a ranger in the head rendering him unconscious. Needless to say, that was the end of horseshoes. Since team Zetsu was relatively close to the horseshoe post…they would be the winners…even though no one really deserved to win…


	8. Chapter 8 Uneventful Evening

"Itachi, he's my brother of course we sit around and talk about sex, yeah." Dana said. Itachi was successfully driving her crazy.

"What does he say about me, because whatever he says it's not true, Dana!" Itachi yelled. Dana laughed.

"Oh my god, like don't even start with me, yeah. Itachi, I know a girl that's slept with you and everything Deidara tells me….I reconfirmed with her.

"FINE! But understand Dana….that was a hard week for me and it happens to everyone!" Itachi was trying to defend himself. Dana laughed.

"Right, sure, Itachi, I'm still not sleeping with you, yeah." Dana told him. It was the evening and Dana's Saturday stay was almost over and itachi once again hadn't gotten her in bed.

"Why do you fight it? I mean, why would you reject this?" Itachi begged of her. Dana glared at him.

"You are like such a baby, you know that, yeah? I mean you're like so….high maintenance and sure you have shiny hair and flawless skin and a beautiful body, but god Itachi, you're like so fragile, yeah." And with that Dana left Itachi alone because Deidara had gotten his hair stuck in the zipper of the tent and she had to go to the rescue. After that horrific incident was over Dana was gathering up her bag to go wait on her cab at the camp ground registration house.

"Deidara, come wait on the cab with me, yeah." Dana insisted. Of course, Deidara was thrilled to do this, after all this was his favorite sister.

"Hidan, Kakuzu, it was like sooo nice to meet you two, yeah." It probably wasn't a good idea for Dana to hug them both before she left…especially when Hidan didn't let go of her for a few moments…she was soft and cuddly.

"I have cell phone service! I have cell phone service! I have cell phone service!" Sasori yelled, he was preoccupied. He didn't notice that Dana was leaving. "What the…42 missed calls?" After scanning them he noticed that all of them were Orochimaru's number. It was then that the cell phone rang….it was Orochimaru.

"Oh my god! You called us 42 times! What the hell do you want? No! No! No! You and Kabuto and Sasuke are not cool like us! We're on our camping trip! Yes! Yes! No….go to hell!" It was comical to hear only Sasori's side of the conversation. Meanwhile, Dana and Deidara took off towards the camp registration building to wait for her cab.

"Deidara, I'm like so glad I got to come out here for the day, yeah. Oh, and here's my friend Shannon's phone number, I told her you'd like call her and stuff, yeah."

"I'll call her when we get back to our apartment, yeah." Deidara said taking the slip of paper from Dana.

"Oh you will like so not regret it, yeah. Shannon is too great, yeah!" Dana said.

"I know, she's a really nice person, yeah." Deidara told her.

"You know what, Orochimaru you are just jealous because you left Akatsuki and now you can't do the cool crap that we do. Oh and you know what else you have bad taste in belts! Purple? God! What are you even thinking and it looks like a rope!" Sasori continued to argue with Orochimaru on the phone now that he had his cell phone service.

Dana's cab arrived and she was off on her way back into town. Deidara returned only to find Sasori yelling at Orochimaru on the cell phone.

"Hey Deidara, let's iron these pants." Itachi said.

"Itachi, we're going home tomorrow, why would we need to iron those pants, yeah?"

"Because! If we iron the pants now then they'll be ironed for later." Itachi said.

"That's stupid, yeah." Deidara told him. It was then that one of the girls from the campground across from them showed up.

"Hi, I don't mean to bother you guys, but we're all out of ice, do you have any we could have?" Deidara thought a moment.

"Itachi, do we have any ice, yeah?" Itachi thought a moment. Sasori was now screaming at Orochimaru on the phone.

"Hey, Sasori do we have any ice?" Itachi asked him.

"Hold on!" Sasori said to Orochimaru. "Hidan do we have any ice?" Hidan looked up from his issue of 'Car Trader' that he was reading.

"Really, Zetsu do we have any ice?" Zetsu thought about that.

"Kakuzu! Do we have any ice?" Kakuzu looked puxled.

"Kisame. Do we have any ice?"

"Oh sure, how much do you need?" and Kakuzu asked this question to Zetsu, who asked Hidan and the chain continued back to Deidara.

"Oh, so the blue guy has the ice?" the girl said.

"He does, just go to him, it's easier than all of us asking each other, yeah." And so the girl went to Kisame to get 4 ice cubes…yes all of that for 4 ice cubes.

"Okay, listen Orochimaru! You're using all of my daytime minutes asshole! I'm hanging up!" Sasori slammed his phone shut only to hear screaming coming from the van. Itachi had sent Deidara to the van to look for Itachi's Calvin Klein wish list however, he had gotten sidetracked and found Play-Doh instead.

"Oh my god! Play-Doh! MINE!Sasori! Will you play Play-Doh with me, yeah?" Deidara pulled 12 plastic containers of Play-Doh out of the van. It was the perfect time to challenge Sasori to an art contest.

So, Deidara and Sasori spread Play-Doh all over the picnic table while Zetsu took a nap, Hidan and played chess and Kisame and Itachi decided to start developing the next evil thing Akatsuki should do…it was a low key evening….it was a good thing because they were leaving the next day.


	9. Chapter 9 Packing to Leave

"Why must we constantly wake up to incessant screaming?" Sasori asked Zetsu as he was crawling out of his tent. Deidara had just escaped he and Itachi's tent quickly. Zetsu rolled his eyes.

"Itachi! I know you're still in there….but there's a spider in the tent, yeah!" Deidara told him. Itachi spotted the spider and flew out of the tent.

"Sasori! There's a spider in the tent!" he said. Zetsu and Sasori looked at one another then noticed that Kisame and Hidan had already began loading the van.

"Hey, uh, Kisame….there's a spider in Itachi and Deidara's tent." Zetsu said. Kisame spun around and looked at the tent.

"Hidan, do you kill spiders?" Kisame asked.

"Seriously, yeah, I'll get it." So Hidan looked inside the tent. "Really, guys that spider isn't even the size of a fly." Hidan said as he entered the tent and got rid of the spider. It was time to begin packing to return to the apartment. Camp check-out was 12:00 and it was already 10:00. It was Kakuzu's job to take down the owl lights, the clothes line and pack the kayak. Zetsu was supposed to drain and load the cooler and take down the tents. Itachi's job was to load all the clothes that he and Deidara packed. Kisame cleaned up the camp stove and put all the dirty clothes in a laundry bag. Deidara was supposed to put away all his Play-Doh from the night before, while hidan collected all their camp chairs. Things were going pretty well until Itachi tripped on a stump and fell into the side of the van with the massive amount of clothes. He yelled and cursed about it, but everyone else ignored him because he was obviously overreacting. Deidara had forgotten that among all the Play-Doh containers there was one explosive clay bird…and of course that's the one thing that he dropped. Needless to say there was a massive explosion with pretty much woke everyone around them. So, now after the smoke cleared, there was a gaping hole in the ground. Deidara looked at it, still holding the Play-Doh. The 7 girls across from them lined up to see what had happened.

"Okay, so that one was the explosive, yeah." Deidara thought nothing of it and took all the Play-Doh to the van. He hoped that camp ground personnel wouldn't notice…

After more packing it was finally time to check out and leave the campground. It was time to get back to the apartment and report in to 'the leader.' The annual camping trip had once again been a success!

Okay, sorry this chapter was a little short and uneventful, however look out for the next story that is soon to come: Akatsuki Goes to Six Flags. Thanx to Katie for the idea and OMG IloveInuyaha44 I can't believe you totally read my mind that I was going to write this next! Anyway, look forward to it as I plan to have the first chapter of the new adventure posted later on today! Much Love AkiraDawn


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